So I am sitting here at Legend for what is most likely my last day. Our company is in the process of liquidating. Yesterday. the owner told me that after today he will let me know on a day to day basis if I am still working. I am still looking for another job so it's all jake.

As I said I am sitting here acting busy, not rerally caring if I get my lay-off notice today or tomorrow. It feels like the last day of school before summer vacation and I just don't feel like doing a damn thing.

Over the past three weeks I have been watching people walk out with all kinds of things....merchandise, office supplies, one guys was even bold enought to roll an office chair out through the front door. I guess they decided that it's just a free for all and anything goes. As for me, well not to be out done I planned a little petty theft yesterday myself. I was going to take a binder clip to put on the sunvisor in my car. I am always stuffing mail up there and it falls out while I am driving. Problem is.......I forgot the friggin thing and yesterday when all the mail fell on my while I was driving 85 on the highway.......needless to say there was some swerving involved.

I am a bit nervous about being able to meet my next mortgage payment, but I will make it some how, because gawd in heaven knows that I will pedal a bike, peddle newspapers, hell I'd even peddle my @ss if it will get the bills paid.........hmmmmm, I wonder is @ss sells by the pound?

In spite of all of this I am in a pretty time in my life. I really can't complain too much.....besides what good would it do.

Let me know......

I found this on a whore's site and thought I might just might use it on my own...

1- Who are you?
2- How long have you known me?
3- Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
4- Describe me in one word.
5- What reminds you of me?
6- If you could give me anything what would it be?
7- Ever wanted to tell me something you couldn’t?
8- Are you going to put this on your blog and see what i can say about you?
9- What do you love like a kid loves cake?
10- What makes you come back here?

My World of Songs

Yesterday I was blue. Diamonds and Rust is my “blue day” song. We all have certain songs that we cling to at different times. We are in a certain mood and we will do anything just to hear the right song because of what the song means or what was happening when we first heard it.

Shimmy Shimmy Ko-Ko-Bop (by Tommy James and the Shondells).
This song reminds me of my mother. She did singing telegrams and was an extra large belly dancer. She’d walk into a crowded room in her bikini outfit and some people would laugh just at the sight of a fat woman in a bikini. She never paid it a bit of mind. She would turn on her boom box and launch into her act. “Launch” is the only word to use, because she would completely steam roll the crowd. She would sing her own song, dance along to a couple other songs on her boom box and completely own the situation. She’d make her “victim” play motorboat, and believe me that would leave a definite impression on someone……mama had her share of cleavage. By the end of her gig everyone would laughing, hugging her, and thanking her for all the fun. Years later, strangers still tell me that seeing her act was the best time that they ever had.

I Will Always Love You (Whitney’s version)
I danced to this song with my friend Andre, at a club in Youngstown. It was one of those cases of unrequited love. I would have moved the world to be with him and he liked my friendship……but at least we shared that dance………and that memory will bring a smile to my heart and a tear to my eye for as long as I live.

Come on Over Here (by Toni Braxton)
I once had a dance to this song with a pretty whore of mine. It was quite simply the most intimate dance of my life……nothing but skin and love between us, and no sense of time……the Earth stood still and all was as it should be. Eventually the song ended……but the moment will be with me always.

Don’t Worry, Be Happy (by Bobby McFerrin)
This song takes me back to a hot day in October 1988. I was in boot camp and had just walked into the mess hall. This song was playing over the speakers and there was a company of about 35 girls sitting at a table swaying back and forth singing this song, and laughing. To this day I can’t help but grin every time I hear it.

Conga (by Gloria Estefan and the Miami Sound Machine)
It was probably around 1993 or 1994 and we were always at the Interbelt Nite Club. When ever the DJ played this song Cyndi would drop her drink (with not a single thought given to the wasting of alcohol) snatch the hands of everyone in our group and drag us all out to the center of the dance floor. There she would whip the crowd into a frenzy with the spectacle of her dance. By the time the song ended her wig was always askew, her make up running in rivers down her face, and smoke would be wafting off of her Minolo’s.

Atomic Dog (by George Clinton)
This song always me think of the old Greenwood Crew. Marilyn, Omar, Michelle, Shawn, Mike Rozak, and Laura. This song was a staple at every function and we would always dance as nasty as possible to it. We never gave a thought to where we were…..be it a bar or wedding reception…..we never cared who might see….spouses or parents alike were completely forgotten. All that mattered was the song and that we were together for it………bumping, grinding, and everything short of getting arrested……hand placement was always interesting during this song:-)

Diamonds and Rust

(Words and Music by Joan Baez)

Well I'll be damned
Here comes your ghost again
But that's not unusual
It's just that the moon is full
And you happened to call

And here I sit
Hand on the telephone
Hearing a voice I'd known
A couple of light years ago
Heading straight for a fall

As I remember your eyes
Were bluer than robin's eggs
My poetry was lousy you said
Where are you calling from?
A booth in the midwest

Ten years ago I bought you some cufflinks
You brought me something
We both know what memories can bring
They bring diamonds and rust

Well you burst on the scene
Already a legend
The unwashed phenomenon
The original vagabond
You strayed into my arms

And there you stayed
Temporarily lost at sea
The Madonna was yours for free
Yes the girl on the half-shell
Would keep you unharmed

Now I see you standing
With brown leaves falling around
And snow in your hair
Now you're smiling out the window
Of that crummy hotel
Over Washington Square

Our breath comes out white clouds
Mingles and hangs in the air
Speaking strictly for me
We both could have died then and there

Now you're telling me
You're not nostalgic
Then give me another word for it
You who are so good with words
And at keeping things vague

Because I need some of that vagueness now
It's all come back too clearly
Yes I loved you dearly
And if you're offering me diamonds and rust
I've already paid

Pussy Posse

So I had a good week. My day job, which really sucks, decided they needed me to work Fridays again. On one hand I will miss the liquid fortified lunches that Mattina and I were prone to enjoy together, on the other I’m glad to have the money back. I started doing some closing shifts at the night job and that kinda sucks, but what can you do….someone’s gotta pay the bills!!!

Saturday evening I went out with some pretty whores who are members of my Pussy Posse. It’s probably wrong that I would refer to a sector of my friends as my Pussy Posse……but then my penchant for the inappropriate is part of my charm, so I choose to believe that it’s actually endearing. Anyway, I got to hang out with some people that I don’t see often.

Bet-C was there. She is the sister of my friend Marilyn. Actually to say she is a "friend’s sister" doesn’t do our relationship justice. Bet-C is more like my own sister. We have lived, laughed and cried together. We have shared trips to far off places, involving both geography and chemistry. Her good heart is always visible in her actions and words (except for the rare occasion when she has to beat some heiffa down)……..but then that’s part of what makes me love her and claim her as my blood.

Amanda was there too. She is the sister of my oldest friend Michael Chandler. When I first met Mandy she was 4 years old. Now, she is a beautiful young woman (model quality if you ask me), but with none of the snootiness that you would expect. I am truly impressed with the person she has turned out to be. She too has my love.

Hanging out with us were Charleen and Karen. I’ve written of them before. Charleen could be described as quirky, eccentric, unconventional, or even off beat….thus is my draw to her. While, Karen is a definitely unique individual……I see in her my emotional twin. She loves hard, but is quick to let you know when you have crossed a line that she doesn’t approve of. Usually it’s something understandable…….but like with me, sometimes it is something that only she sees. I am not the first person to say that the b!tch is just plain crazy!!!! It’s a wonder that we even get along, but somehow our strong personalities just mesh?!?!?!

Mattina, was another posse member there. We are more than room-mates…….ours is a new friendship in comparison to the amount of time that I have known some of these other whores, but I see a bond forming that will span many years to come. When asked, I say she is kind, loving and generous……truly a dear soul to keep near and treasure.

On the outer fringes was Vaj. As you might guess, "Vaj" is actually short for vagina, something I refer to him as because of his obvious sexual persuasion. Vaj’s speech and mannerisms leave little doubt that he is gay………not to mention that he is a member of Kent State’s first, and so far only, gay fraternity. She is totally out and unashamed………kinda like a real life representation of Emmit Hunnicut, Queer as Folk’s out and proud utterly lovable character. Vaj doesn’t hide himself…….doesn’t pretend to be anything other than what he is. I admire him greatly for that.

Oh yeah, Ruby was there too. Someday I will tell of her and what she means to me.