A Word about Ruby

Ruby is an all out stankalicious hoe. She does foul deeds and has absolutely no shame about it. Many times as she relates to me her latest escapades I can only shake my head in wonder and marvel at the depths of her depravity.

Her life experiences are the things that movies are made of. Comparing the likes of Madonna (at her nastiest) to Ruby is a complete no brainer. Ruby out scandalizes the Material Girl hands down. I have seen her perform oral tricks in bars, cars, parking lots and behind buildings. I have seen her expose her BFP and have folks fighting to get a lick on it.

She has something about her that is just plain dumbfounding. While she is quite pretty, she’s no Sophia Loren………yet she can have any man she wants. I just don’t get it. Guys throw themselves at her constantly. They are always rubbing on her and trying to entice her with whispered words of threesomes, spankings, and endless rims. One time a group of fellas came to her house and started having an orgy right there in the middle of her living room, just to get her to throw one or two of them a bone (the BFP)……instead she watched and rubbed herself for a while then left for work.

She is so dirty and nasty........no wonder I love her!!

Perchance To Dream

Here I am holding in my arms the strongest person I know. Suddenly it’s me holding the quivering body and pressing my lips to a tear streaked face. "Everything’s gonna be all right," I say……and in that moment I know it’s the truth. I see a side that I haven’t seen before……this normally strong and proud individual is letting me see the fear and pain that lie hidden inside. No one has ever held this one the way I am……normally my protector…..normally my rock…….now more human….how special I must be to see this…….to hold this……to love this……..we lie stomach to back……my arms wrapped around arms that usually carry me…….that usually soothe me……..kissing the back of a sweet smelling neck……I begin to realize that I would give up my life to save the one in my arms…..that I will never allow anything to harm this……my love…my little bird………

Sigh…………why do memories always come back in dreams?

Where are they now?

It’s not just a Barry Manilow song or an episode on VH1. It’s what I’m asking myself about some of my long lost friends.

Where is Adrianne from high school? She used to work at the library downtown.

Where is Wes from Hamburger Express, my first job? I really wanted to sleep with him.

Where is Mike from Handy Andy? I almost did sleep with him.

Where is God? We used to work together at Domino’s Pizza. I think he’s still in Cincinatti.

Where is Jeffery, my favorite queen. We worked together at Papa John’s in the Falls. Last I heard he was in New York working for Nike. He was so cute to me………if I could only take some clippers to his wild @ss fro!!!

Where is Addie from Legend? That b!tch was plain crazy. She was soooo much fun!!! I never got to know her as well as I wanted.

Where is Ethel? We met in 1991………she liked the handcuffs on my rearview mirror. Whore. Last I heard she was in Pa. She responds to my e-mails…but the replies are short and don’t feel comfortable. We had a falling out of sorts, but nothing really worth holding a grudge for……in my opinion anyway.

Where is Steph? She was the coolest thing since ice cream. I heard she went from Canton to the Falls. Why don’t we stay in touch?

Where is Lisa? She’s a lot of fun. I wonder if she’s still taking a dozen steps all the time……is she driving now?

Where are K & C? Oh yeah, I got them back. They just bought a house in the Falls. We once had a falling out……but nobody can stay mad at Honey Ha for very long. K weighs 5 pounds now and has mellowed much. C is still the same. Thank God!!!! I dearly love that strange strange bird.

Where is Tana? Half the time I hated her, but the other half she was so f#cking cool!!! I hope she’s well.

Where is the Queen Bee? I had always heard that she was the wicked witch of everywhere………but hours and hours of sitting at her feet after work showed me that she is such a wonderful person with a heart the size of the world. She still lives in the Falls……I don’t know why we don’t talk more.

Where is Paige? Did I say the wrong thing, or just say it the wrong way?

Where is Lois? I can’t stand that heiffa, but inside I hope she is well.

Rosa? I believe she went to California. Not geographically…………but she’s there none the less. Of course only Steph, Tana, and maybe K will know what I mean by that. I have dreams about her, but my phone doesn’t have all the numbers to get in contact with her. I truly hope with all my heart that I one day get to visit her there……at least for one last dance.

David, Nathan, Kyra, Natalie, and lil baby Banks on the way……..

These are the names of my babies. They are not actually mine yet, but as their parents die off in mysterious accidents they will be. You see, like many other queers (notice I said queers and not queens) out there I want children badly. It seems that with the exception of one, all of my straight friends are popping out rug rats left and right.

The first was my best friend Omar’s boy David. We just celebrated his 2nd birthday 3 weeks ago. Next came Nathan, Angela’s boy. He will be 2 next weekend. Following him was Kyra, Mike and Janice’s beautiful little girl. She turned a year old 2 days ago. Then came Angela’s second, Natalie. Natalie came to us at Valentine’s Day this year. Rounding it off is Omar’s second, due this September.

Probably the best part is that we are all friends so we all go to each other’s parties. That way I get them all at once!!!!!!!! It makes me happier than a pig in mud……..or is that a whore in a pig room? Regardless, I love it!!!!!! Recently I got all the kids together for a group photo. The girls had matching dresses and the boys were in matching shorts and shirts. The pics are great, but the experience was quite tiring. I’d gotten my picture taken with the boys last summer and thought it was difficult with 2 kids……….WOW!!! When all four were together it was just nuts!! Did I mention that 4 of the parents were there with me and it was still quite a chore?!?! Afterwards we all went to Max & Erma’s for drinks/lunch. The mamas and papas only had one each, but since I was driving solo I had a couple.

Maybe, I won’t bump the parents off quite yet. I don’t know if I will be able to handle all 5 little monkies at once. I could just switch off and borrow a different one each weekend. Of course, I will have to take a weekend off every now and again for parties and trips out of town.

OMG!!!!!!!! I nearly forgot!!!! This past Saturday at Kyra’s birthday party, her grandparents got her a wagon………..and on the back they put an NRA sticker. National Rifle Association!!! Yeah that’s it. I nearly peed myself laughing at how upset people were getting about it!! The only thing that would have made it better would be if I added some more stickers……..like “Jews for Jesus” and “My Auntie Mike luvz me!!”

Too many stills..........

I was asleep when my brother yelled up the stairs to my bedroom. "Mike get up!" When I asked what was wrong he said that DeWayne was out in front of the house and he’d been shot. I was dressed, downstairs, and outside within a minute.

There were 4 or five police cars already there and the yellow police tape was up. I went under it and crossed the street to see my friend of 13 years lying on the devil strip across the street. He was laying there alone the closest person to him was a cop some 5 feet away writing in a little notebook. Here was my friend lying hurt and no one was with him.

I got on the ground and held him. An officer came over and asked if I knew him, but I didn’t answer. I just held my friend. He had a small dot on the right side of his forehead. There was another dot half an inch away on the side of his temple. They were the entrance and exit wounds for the shot that hit his head. Both were maybe half the size of a pea. It didn’t look that bad, so of course he would be ok, but he was so scared. He wanted to get up but I tried to keep him still and calm. He was moaning in pain and all I could do was hold him and tell him that everything was going to be ok.

Well it’s not ok. It took me a while to scrub his blood off of my arms and hands, but I couldn’t get the water hot enough or use enough soap to get the stains out of my mind. I still see the dried sticky blood. I still hear his moans. I still imagine the popping sounds that my room-mates described as the gun shots. I can still see him in the coffin. I can still remember how I couldn’t speak at his funeral.

I am still waiting for him to call me at work and ask what time we are going out tonight………………………………..