Friends in low places..............

Girl, sit back and get comfortable.........cause Honey is about to gossip. Last night I went to a Christmas party and on my way home I gets a call from Jim....talkin' bout meet him for a drink. Now, I tell him no a lot so sometimes I just have to bite the bullet and go out to make him happy. That was the case last night. So I calls Mattina and told him to gets his shoes on cause we's a'goin trampin! I called a couple other hoes, but Ruby is the only one to meet us out. Now let me tell you this for the git-go...........we were only going out ot have a couple drinks. I probably should have know that just wasn't gonna fly because we haven't all been out together in a while..........

Anyway, we were at Skareez and Matt starts up with some drunk saying that he stays with me for free in exchange for sex. Then Jim tells the guy that Matt's only good for sex anyway. This just sets the guy off on a drunken tirade about how we are using this cute young boy for our own selfish reasons and that we are causing him emotional harm. Having started this situation Matt and Jim fade out of the picture and I am left with this phukker berating me for my treatment of a "kid." First- Matt is 27y/o. Second- He's had more dikks than I have........so he ain't hardly no kid. Finally I end up telling the guy that he doesn't know any of us and to just shut up. Suddenly Ruby reappears (after being missing in action in the back of a car with dark tinted windows with a strong tattooed young buck for an hour and a half) and calms the drunk down and all is right in the universe again. I hate my trifflin' friends.

We all leave. Jim goes home and Ruby, Matt and I go to Adams Street for a night cap. More drinks.......a couple more drinks......Ruby fingers a drag queen's @ss....Mattina fingers Ruby's @ss and everybody wants me to sniff their fingers. I really need a higher class of friends.

Next we stop at the Manor for breakfast. On arrival, Ruby goes to the bathroom (presumably to earn money for us to eat on). Mattina and I are seated and some hot-hot-hot guy sits in the booth behind with his two friends. The hottie starts picking on some homeless man and causes the waitress to run him off. The waitress apologizes for the homeless man and the hottie says that his appetite was nearly ruined for just looking at the man....................................this would be where I step in. I tell how the man was quietly drinking his coffee, not bothering anyone in the world, when this @sshole starts giving him a hard time. The hottie then turns to me and says "Oh, we have a talker!!" My response was "Yeah, I've got a couple things to say. Wanna hear some more?" Then Mattina (not having to sense to know that just cause he's had a lot of thug dikk doesn't make him a bad @ss!!) says something to the guy. Next thing you know Hottie has turned his attentions on calling Mattina a pusssy. The waitress realizing that things might soon turn ugly tells her coworker to call the police. Ruby walks up just as Hottie askes what I weigh. To which I respond by asking what he wanted me to weigh. The waitress tells Hottie and his friends to leave and Ruby starts cosigning. Telling him to get his punk @ss on out before he takes a beating. While Ruby lets off with a couple more threats she starts pulling off her jurry and her wig. Then shimmying out of her good slip and slipping a razor into the toes of her Milolos she smears some vaseline on her face and tells hottie to "step on up and start swinging!!" Now I am just sitting back and laughing..........cause for as much sh!t as he was talkin' the sexy @sshole wasn't about to be fighting. Hottie leaves with one of his friends while the other one hangs back and apologizes to us. Un beknownst to me while the nice friend is talking to Ruby, Mattina puts a coffee cup in her pocket and slips out the door. Here she went outside and was gonna bust the glass on the curb and cut the cute trash talkin mutha fukka!!!!!! Finally the other friend leaves. Mattina returns, and we get started with our breakfast. Ruby was soooo butch steppin up all man-like.........just thinkin bout it gives me a woodie!!!

Sigh......Webby died.

Or rather his blog died. W.E.B. is a truly good guy. He may actually be closer to a saint because he looks after a very high maintenance friend of mine. I wish that I could spend more time with him and get to know him better but with my whole 2 job issue I don't seem to have the time to do laundry let alone socialize. and before now when I only had the one job I was too depressed about not working 2 jobs to do anything either.........anyway, what ever the case......I just don't seem to get to spend much time with him, so my way of keeping up with him and his life was through his now defunct blog. So now what am I to do?

I liked the fact that he would share bits of himself with the world.........sort of a bare all type of thing that a lot of us feel safe enough to do through the anonymity of the internet. Of course as he can attest, when your friends know your site they will take the opportunity to voice their opinions of your thoughts and feelings. So rather than bear the brunt of these comments he is choosing to close up shop. Myself, when I express a thought that I don't want comments on I simply put a block on the whole commenting option. Of course then the evil b!tches might just e-mail or call you anyway, so maybe ceasing is the only way to guarantee peace................hmmmmmm........what to do.......what to do?

Nah, phukkit!!!! Listen here Webby!!!!! You give me the names and e-mail addresses of whoever rained on your parade and I swear that Honey Ha will exact a toll on them for whatever kunty things they said to you. The things I say to them will cause their ears to burn and their eyes to bleed!!!!!!! Trust me on this, honey..........Saints nevva evva lie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Too Gay?????

As I was driving into work today, listening to my Sirius Satelite Radio, when suddenly Taylor Dayne started singing to me. I was listening and enjoying her sound and the next thing I knew she possessed me. Suddenly, I was singing, dancing, banging on the steering wheel and otherwise putting on a concert as my Cavalier rolled on down the road. I looked over to find a guy in a Ford F350 Dually staring at me. I tried to stop the performance, but as I was taught by the Queen Mother (Bette Midler)......One Monkey Don't stop No Show!!!!!! So I just hit the gas, edged the 'Lier up to 85mph and passed the unappreciative gawker. I would have given him the finger but Taylor insisted that it would cheapen her performance so needless to say my personal expression was stifled.

This got me to thinking. Am I too gay? I mean, I think that I have a butch enough appearance.....and no one would ever know just from my mannerisms that I am fruity, but I do seem to have the creative gene........and sometimes I do err on the side of dramatics............but other than that...........am I too gay? I think that I am a little too close to the subject to decide for myself, so I will leave it up to what ever good people happen to read this. I will give you the facts and you can give me your verdict. Keep in mind that Christmas is coming and I would hate for you to wake up and find a reindeer's head in your bed.



1- I love Dolly Parton
2- I do not own Minnie Pearl hat......but I would love to.
3- My bedroom is messy.
4- I wear wrinkled shirts.
5- My socks frequently don't match.
6- I know of and love Beverly Sills.
7- I watch chick flicks.
8- I cry like a baby during sad movies.
9- I quote movie characters.
10- I love the theater and show tunes.
11- Beer, who needs water?
12- I love big trucks.
13- I want a Harley (or a big stud of a man who rides one).
14- Sometimes violence is the answer (golf clubs and garden gnomes).
15- I believe the word b!tch applies to people of all genders.