List that I stole from the Bent Collective........

1. How old were you when you knew you were gay?
At age 6 I messed around with the neighbor boy….and liked it.
2. Have you ever had sex with the opposite sex?
Yes.
3. Who was the first person you came out to?
My mother.
4. Are you out to your family?
Everyone.
5. Do you want children?
Definitely, if I ever have a man who isn’t psychotic and has a good job.
6. Do you have more gay friends or straight friends?
More straight.
7. Were you out in school?
No.
8. Is your best friend the same sex as you?
I have one of each.
9. If your best friend is the same sex, have you ever had sex with them?
Huh, what?
10. Have you ever done crystal meth?
No.
11. Have you ever been in a sling?
Not yet.
12. Have you ever done a 3-way?
Yes.
13. Have you ever dressed in drag?
Firth grade…..for Halloween.
13. Would you date a drag queen?
This answer used to be no…..now it would depend on the person.
14. Are you a top/bottom or truly versatile?
Mostly versatile……..I think.
15. Have you seen an uncircumcised penis?
Seen it in my mouth.
16. Have you had sex with someone of a different ethnicity?
More than once.
17. Have you ever barebacked?
Yes.
18. How many Cher CDs do you own?
I once owned one, but now it’s gone.
19. Name of your first love?
Randy.
20. Do you still talk to them?
No.
21. Does size matter?
Depend on where you want to put it.
22. Biggest turn on?
A nice thick sturdy man.
23. Biggest turn off?
Scat.
24. Ever been harassed due to your orientation?
Not really.
25. Worst gay stereotype that applies to you?
Musicals and show tunes.
26. Ever been to a pride rally?
Yes.
27. Would you marry if you could?
With the right guy.
28. Would you rather be rich and smart or young and beautiful?
Not sure.
29. Do you sculpt your eyebrows?
Just to keep the keep the unibrow at bay.
30. Do you trim your body hair?
Shoulders and upper back for tank top season.
31. Ever had sex with more than one person in a day?
Yes, does this make me a whore?
32. Ever been to an orgy?
Nothing more than a foursome………except for a couple forays into pig rooms.
33. Have you dated your best friends ex?
Umm, yeah.
34. Would you vote for Hillary Clinton if she ran for president?
Not really up on her views.
35. Do you want monogamy in your relationships?
Hell, the phuk yeah I do!!!!
36. Do you believe in true love?
Most assuredly.
37. Do you have any tattoos?
2 for now.
38. Do you have any piercings?
No.
39. Would you date a smoker?
Yes, but only a light smoker.
40. Do you get HIV tests every 6 months?
Not as often as I should.
41. Do you know anyone who has died from H.I.V.?
Unfortunately, yes.
42. Do you know what Stonewall was?
Of course.
43. Strangest place you have had sex?
Up against a wall behind a convenient store
44. Strangest place you've woken up?
Nothing interesting here.
45. Are your best years behind or in front of you?
Hopefully ahead.
46. Favorite porn movie?
Pink Lagoon…………(straight flick).
48. Are you in love now?
No. .
49. Ever been in love with a straight guy/girl?
Both.
50. Did you ever have sex with them?
One of them.
51. Have you ever been to a nude beach?
No.
52. Have you ever been to a bath house?
Yes, but only with my partner at the time.
53. Ever had sex in public?
Just the pig rooms.
54. Have you ever gotten into a relationship for Money or Security, instead of Love and Friendship?
No.
55. Have you ever stayed in a relationship for Money or Security, instead of Love and Friendship?
No.
56. Have you ever keyed someones car?
When I was 20.
57. Have you ever fantasized killing someone not famous?
Fantasized, no. Fleeting thought, yes.
58. Have you ever witnessed someone dying?
Yes.
59. Have you ever contemplated suicide?
Yes, but not seriously. Too chicken.
60. Are you glad you're still here?
Hell yeah!

A word of caution to Elvira.

Screw Shawn!!!!!!!! Let me tell you about that devil!!!

It was a cold weekend in February and we decided to take one of those Fun Jet Vacations. Shawn had never been on a plane before and he was plenty nervous as only a drama queen can be. The plane ride there was smooth sailing. When we got to the hotel they had given our 2-bed standard room to someone else…….so they upgraded us to a suite with a king sized bed and a jacquozi. They sent up a roll away bed too. I was all set to sleep on the roll away that night and switch off with him the next night. Shawn suggested that since the bed was sooooo big, why didn’t we just share it. Cool with me.

We went to dinner, gambled a little, came back to the room and each took a bath. Shawn overdosed on the bubble bath and screamed for me to get a camera to take a picture of him luxuriating in the bath like the Queen of Sheba. Sometime later we hit the sack for some much needed rest after our long day.

I fell asleep pretty quick. It was a nice deep sleep. Very restful. I was dead to the world…………….that is until I woke to a punch in the face!!!!!!!!!!!!!! When I jerked awake throwing my arms in front of my face Shawn was screaming that I was snoring too loud. He looked crazy in the eyes and was frothing at the mouth. The next thing I knew he had picked up the phone receiver and slammed me across the face with it. As I tried to scramble off the bed clutching my broken nose he jumped on my back and wrapping the phone cord around my throat he began choking me with it.

That’s all I remember before I blacked out. I awoke laying in a heap in the closet with a pair of dirty socks in my mouth and my hands bound with the phone cord. Shawn was puttering around the room….getting ready…..telling me it was time to go to breakfast.


God's punishment to Shawn came on the plane ride home to Akron.