My special friend

You left me last year........actually it was exactly a year and a week ago. The ride since then has been harder. We would sometimes go months without hanging out or talking.............but when we met back up it was like old times. We would go out, pound some beers, talk about life love and all that other crap........then we would talk about everyone we knew.......who was phukkin who.......who we were phukkin.......we talked about all of it.......even what we were supposed to keep to ourselves (shhhhhh don't tell what's her name)!!!! Then you would always pick up a bimbo and I would drive your drunk ass to her house...or our house....or your apartment......or where ever. You were always such a who*re!!!!! I love that about you!!!!!! Last year before the funeral some of us celebrated your life in the same way. We were whores! We were so foul that we couldn't look at each other at the funeral! I know you were watching us and smiling......actually being the dirty phukker you are.....you probably cheered us on!!!!!! I miss you buddy...................Michael

PS
I poured some out on the curb for you today......you know what I mean.

How to do it?

Can you tell me that? I want to call Tigger..........It's been over a month.....I guess it turned out to be a trick......so how does one go about contacting a fella and asking him to go out?

I could always call and say that I missed my period......and we need to talk, but......since our activities were limited I just don't think that will fly.He doesn't really drink so I think an invitation to my Halloween party would prove to be a bit overwhelming..........you know what with all the drunkeness and rampant nudity........still, it might be interesting....hmmm........what to do? What to do?

Baron's B-Day...........

It is a dark and stormy night..........and the Red Baron is weighing heavily on Snoopy's mind. He didn't get the Baron a gift, or send him a card, and he's not going to call him..............but temptation is a sum-bitcchhh!!!!