My Plaigorized Sevens

7 things I plan to do before I die

1) Travel to Mexico, Greece, Hungary, and New York.
2) Father and raise the perfect little girl and we will wear matching pink construction boots, or get a Golden Retriever.
3) Own a beautiful mansion with a wrought iron fence and electric gate.
4) Start a driving school, because none of the b!tches out there know how to drive at all.
5) Sleep with a well hung body builder…we are talking completely muscle bound and obscenely hung.
6) Stop working.
7) Stop worrying.

7 things I can do:

1) Speak mediocre Spanish with a surprisingly good accent.
2) Completely tear somewhat apart with my words. Not that it’s a good thing……but I can do it.
3) Accommodate several cocks in my anus at the same time.
4) Kidding! Oh my God I am totally kidding! I can kid!
5) Hold two contradictory paranoid delusions simultaneously.
6) Tell if someone is Canadian within 30 seconds of hearing them speak. Unless they’re from Minnesota. Then I need two minutes.
7) Watch television in a language I don’t understand without getting bored.

7 things I cannot do:

1) Juggle.
2) See without glasses or contacts.
3) Just wait and see if it goes away on its own. (Or, similarly, just wait and see if it happens again.)
4) Wear wool against my skin.
5) Stand ignorant people telling me I am wrong about something.
6) Stand any one telling me I am wrong about something.
7) Deep throat when it’s too thick.

7 things that attract me to the same sex:

1) Confidence.
2) Sense of humor.
3) Great smile.
4) Nice ass.
5) A limited number of “bad boy” characteristics. Limited.
6) Intelligence.
7) Owning property in a Mediterranean village.

7 things that I say most often:

1) What color are your panties?
2) Hello whore.
3) Sinner!
4) It just goes to show that not all the trash goes to the curb on Thursday night. (This is usually aimed at a person)
5) Wut-the-fukk-evr!!
6) Word.
7) If I couldn’t say a word!

7 Celebrity Crushes

1) Jean Claude VanDamm
2) Stone Cold Steve Austin
3) The Rock
4) Mr Marcus
5) Tommy Lee
6) Bruce Willis
7) Seann William Scott